Life is Exhausting!

When school ended, I was so excited because I thought that I would finally get to catch up on sleep, relax a little, and spend lots of time with Leo. I admit, I have gotten to spend a lot of time with Leo, but I cannot say that I've gotten to sleep or relax much. Instead of relaxing at home most days, Leo and I have been meeting up with other mommies and babies and trying to have fun! I figure we won't be able to have any play dates once school starts back up so I may as well take advantage of it now. On top of that, Leo has stopped taking multiple naps throughout the day. He's now transitioning to one, maybe two, decent naps throughout the day. The two-three hour nap in the afternoon is nice because I can actually clean in that time frame, but, at the same time, I can't get my own nap in. I've also been planning for Leo's first birthday. I thought it would be easy planning a first birthday but, no, it's so hard. Figuring out where to have it was the worst, we thought we'd have it at the Park District but it turns out you have to reserve those things months in advance. Who plans a party 6 months in advance?! Had I known planning things was going to be so difficult, I would have starting planning as soon as school let out. The worst part of it all is that I sent out invitations over a month in advance, and wrote down both my phone number and Anthony's phone number (we don't have a house phone) asking them to RSVP by the 14th. Most people didn't RSVP and the ones who did decided to call my parents, not me. It's annoying having to track people down and call them to make sure they are coming to a party. So, here's a tip for anybody reading, just call someone to RSVP, even if you don't plan on going!! I think I have everything pretty much settled now, I've bought all the party supplies, ordered the cake, and decided on the "menu"...now I just have to buy food, so I'm crossing my fingers that the stuff we need will be on sale next week. And I FINALLY uploaded all of the pics from one of my cameras. Looking through all those pictures, deciding which ones were worth keeping, is also exhausting. Since it took me so long to finally upload them, I now need to search through the ones I kept and sort them into folders since I want to divide them up by months. Unfortunately, I didn't think to do that when I uploaded them...it would have made this whole thing much simpler. Once I get some more recent pictures of Leo uploaded, I will post some on here. He's grown so much! On a happy note, Anthony got a new job! Yay! Hopefully he will actually like this job since he was miserable at his last one. Luckily, he has a set 9-5 schedule during the week. The only unfortunate thing is that he has to work on Saturdays for a little while, who knows how long. However, since we don't have an actual sitter and my mom lives too far to come up an extra day, I had to quit working on Saturdays. My salary on Saturdays isn't enough to justify paying a sitter. It's pretty depressing actually, to realize that a teenage babysitter probably makes more per hour than I do. Again, I'll attempt to write here more often...but that may be an empty promise. I always say I'm going to write after Leo goes to bed, but then I usually pass out on the couch. Plus, I've been trying to stay off the computer as much as possible to spend time with Anthony when he's home.

I've been MIA

I thought once school was over that I'd have more time to post. On the contrary, I have absolutely no free time. I'm either working or babysitting Leo; now that he's crawling and very close to walking, I have to keep a constant eye on him! Leo and I have been able to go on quite a few adventures; we've been to the zoo, strawberry picking, many parks, and the beach a few times. It's nice to be able to get outside and do things now that it's finally warm (extremely hot) here in Chicago. So what's happened in the past month and a half? Leo has two teeth! I think he's currently teething again because he's been running a fever for the past two days and we're going on night two of a sleepless night. He's starting to stand on his own for a few minutes at a time so I'm sure the first wobbly step isn't far away. He claps now whenever you say, "Yay Leo!" So maybe he hasn't had THAT many achievements but I'm still very proud of him and everything he's done. I'll try and write more here, especially since I think I'll be doing a cloth diaper giveaway...if I can find a sponsor. I'm crossing my fingers! On another note, I despise the new blogger setup. And, I think it's time to change my layout, I'm a little bored with the one I have.

Yeah...We've Changed.

I don't know if it's just Americans or if all people like to think that they've bettered themselves based on past experiences.  I don't mean personal experiences, I mean people as a whole.  I remember being young and learning about the Nazis and concentration camps, I didn't think Americans would ever do anything like that.  In fact, I believe most Americans think that Americans have always been rational people who would never treat people the way Hitler did.  I think most people forget that America, too, had internment camps for Japanese-Americans.  They must forget (or possibly not even know) about the Trail of Tears.  America has had it's share of awful things it's done to people.

Now, people have come a long way; slavery no longer exists, religious persecution is null and void (at least in America), gay marriage is allowed in some states, but I wouldn't say that humans have changed all that much.  Most views are still the same.

What made me think of this was the release of The Hunger Games.  Now I've never read the book so I cannot take a stand either way on this, I am completely neutral.  Supposedly, there are a lot of people who are more or less pissed at the fact that they cast two black actors as characters in the movie...actors which some people said were portrayed as white in the book.  Honestly, who cares?  It's just a movie..it's just a book..why does it matter what color their skin is if they play the character well? It really bothers me that people are out there on Facebook and Twitter calling the girl a n*****.  Really?  It comes down to this?

Despite the fact that slavery has been abolished and the Civil Rights movement was successful, racism is still rampant.  I cannot lie when I say that whenever I hear about a murder in Chicago, I tend to think of a black man.  I know, it's awful, I'm not racist in the least bit but it's just what tends to come to mind thanks to media, movies, tv shows, etc.  Isn't it time that we start to change these attitudes?  I really don't want my son growing up thinking that Blacks are all criminals; that Asians are math whizzes; or that Hispanics breed like rabbits.  It is my main goal to make sure that not only does he grow up healthy and physically strong but to also be humble and accepting.

Friendly Debates with the Danielles: Kids in the delivery room

                                                          
I never really ever write about anything in particular..usually just whatever pops up in my mind.  I recently came across a post from another blogger about Friendly Debates with the Danielles.  If you read my blog, you should know by know that I'm a super opinionated person so it'll be fun to post my opinion and read other's opinions on certain topics.

Kids in the delivery room?  Yes or no?


Since I've never had kids before, this is a topic I've never really thought of.  When I was younger, I used to think it was disgusting.  Then again, I thought birth in general was disgusting.  However, know that I have a child, I'm all for it depending on the age of the child.  I think it is a great learning experience for young children and I really think that young children would be both proud and excited to be in the delivery room to welcome their younger brother or sister.  However, I really do not believe that a 15 year old boy would want to be in the delivery room with his mother.  For one, I've been 15, they believe birth is gross.  Two, no teenager wants to see his or her mother's genitals.

Even though I am all for it, I don't think I would ever want Leo in the room with me for the actual birth.  I would be fine having him around in the delivery room up until the point where I'm pushing.  When I had Leo, it was an intimate moment for Anthony and I.  Granted we had to have our midwife in the room almost the entire time, it was nice for it to just be Anthony and I and have it be a calm, relaxing experience...at least, in the beginning.  My labor was tough so it ended up not being a calming experience after all.

I will say that it would be completely different if there were complications with the birth.  Obviously, kids may get in the way and it may not be the best thing to have them around for that!

Are you for or against kids in the delivery room?  Have you had children present for your own childbirth?


Possible topics: organic food for babies, Is sterilizing baby items really necessary? The development of allergies depends on how the child is raised.

Baby #2

I don't get why it's natural for people to constantly ask, "so when are you having baby #2?"  Every time I meet someone they ask if I'm breastfeeding, if he's sleeping through the night, and then when we're trying for another.  It's annoying, especially from my family, they know we don't have the time or money for a second kid right now.

Anthony and I have discussed it many times.  At first, we decided we'd wait around 5 years before trying for number two.  We figured I'd be done with college by then and I'd have a pretty stable job, we'd possibly own our own home.  That would be the ideal situation.  After a few months went by, and some arguments made by family and friends, we decided maybe we'd wait three years before trying for baby #2 (by trying, I mean stopping to not-try..I will never actually try for a baby).  

Today, out of nowhere, Anthony comes up to me and says, "You know, I can see why people want to have another baby."  He said he had a dream that we were getting an ultrasound done and that we were having a baby girl.  He didn't really come out and say it but I think he wants to have another baby soon.  Maybe too soon for me!  I definitely want another baby, I have dreams of it too but I definitely don't want two right now. Maybe after Leo is at least a year old...

True Love

There is a girl I work with who's life is pretty similar to mine.  She's just a little older than me; she just recently turned 24 and I'll be 23 this summer.  She cloth diapers.  Her baby is only two months younger than Leo.  And her and her boyfriend are not married, like Anthony and I.  So we have a lot in common...we like working together because it's so nice to talk to someone who is in the same situation you're in.

Anyway, we were working together early Sunday morning.  In the midst of our opening duties she turns and asks me, "So do you love Anthony?"  Of course, my instantaneous reaction was, "Yes, of course."  I do love Anthony, more than anything.  She paused and looked at me and said, "No, I mean, like the same as before you had a kid?"

It got me thinking.  As I said, I do love Anthony, more than anything.  We have our beautiful baby and we're happy together (for the most part..what couple doesn't have fights?)..but it is different now after having a child.  I love him but the fairytale of the relationship isn't there anymore.  We're planning on getting married but I don't get to dream about a surprise proposal or a dream wedding.

I wouldn't trade my life for anything, I'm happy.  But it is different now.

Does anyone else feel the same way or understand where I'm coming from?

The Ex

When I was 19, I stupidly dated this guy who was 25 and in the Navy.  He seemed like a good guy, had his own place (which any guy who is 25 should), had his own car, had a job, etc.  He seemed like he was on track.  I probably shouldn't have been dating a guy who was 6 years my senior but I wanted someone mature and it didn't seem like any guys my age were mature (they weren't).

Since he was in the Navy, he lived near the Navy base here in Waukegan.  I live in Chicago...so it was over an hours drive to get to his place.  This was obviously before I had a baby, or even had three dogs, so I used to pack up my one dog, Cheeks, and I'd spend the weekend at his place.  We dated for about 7-8 months and adopted a dog together (my pit, Doc...actually named by said ex!).  I realize now that we were moving way too fast but this is all in hindsight.  Anyway, since I was only allowed to have one dog at my apartment, Doc stayed with him.  Since I stayed at his place so often, I had a ton of clothes there, shampoo, and even my Wii.  He also started to hint that he wanted me to move in and wanted to have a baby.  I did NOT want a baby, I was only 19, still a student...still wanting to live my life, so I said no.

After the 7-8 months we had been dating, things started to change.  He would make excuses for me not to come out for the weekend, ignore my calls, forget to call me back, etc.  He said some girl from work was staying with him while she got back on her feet but I had never had a chance to meet this girl so I was suspicious.  After about a month of this crap, I finally decided to make a trip up to his apartment to just take back my dog and all my stuff since we were obviously breaking up.  He had given me a set of keys to his place about 2 months prior to this.  When I got there, he wasn't home because he was out of town (visiting his other girlfriends family!).  To make a long story short, I found out he was cheating on me and got really angry and texted him.  He called the cops and had me arrested for breaking and entering, claiming that I had stolen the keys to his apartment and let myself in even though we had been broken up for months.

I was released that night as no formal charges were taken.  He called me two weeks later begging for me to go back with him, of course,  I said no but he would continue to text me periodically and call every now and then to see how I was doing.  Come to find out that his other girlfriend is pregnant.  Looking back, there is no way she got pregnant after this guy and I officially stopped dating.  The whole "arrest" happened in February, she had to have gotten pregnant in December.  We never talked after that!

Fast forward about 6 months, I got a ticket for an improper turn on red. I went to the courthouse to pay my ticket and I'm arrested, fingerprints taken, photos taken, and my bond is set to $500 bucks!  The arresting officer only said that the warrant was from Waukegan but couldn't tell me what the arrest was for.  Luckily my parents were with me and posted bail and I headed to a court date in Waukegan thinking it was for a ticket I had gotten over a year prior.

At my trial, I am called up to the bench (all prepared to show my evidence that my ticket was paid, etc) and the Judge says, "You're being charged with breaking and entering and destruction of private property."  WTF?!?!  This was from that same ex who had called the cops on me with his BS story.  After 7 court dates later, I got it taken off my record but I still had to pay a $200 restitution fee and, of course, had to pay my attorney for all 7 of those dates.  I believe it cost me a total of two grand (Yes, TWO GRAND for that idiot) to get it all cleared up!

Obviously, I moved on with my life.  I haven't talked to him since the day I found out his other girlfriend was pregnant (which was long before I got "arrested" at the courthouse).  I've forgotten about him, aside from the fact that I hate his guts and I may just have to punch him in the face if I ever see him.  But what do I see when I check my email this morning?  He's following me on Twitter!!