Saturday, March 31, 2012

Yeah...We've Changed.

Posted by Melinda C at 3:53 PM 0 comments
I don't know if it's just Americans or if all people like to think that they've bettered themselves based on past experiences.  I don't mean personal experiences, I mean people as a whole.  I remember being young and learning about the Nazis and concentration camps, I didn't think Americans would ever do anything like that.  In fact, I believe most Americans think that Americans have always been rational people who would never treat people the way Hitler did.  I think most people forget that America, too, had internment camps for Japanese-Americans.  They must forget (or possibly not even know) about the Trail of Tears.  America has had it's share of awful things it's done to people.

Now, people have come a long way; slavery no longer exists, religious persecution is null and void (at least in America), gay marriage is allowed in some states, but I wouldn't say that humans have changed all that much.  Most views are still the same.

What made me think of this was the release of The Hunger Games.  Now I've never read the book so I cannot take a stand either way on this, I am completely neutral.  Supposedly, there are a lot of people who are more or less pissed at the fact that they cast two black actors as characters in the movie...actors which some people said were portrayed as white in the book.  Honestly, who cares?  It's just a's just a book..why does it matter what color their skin is if they play the character well? It really bothers me that people are out there on Facebook and Twitter calling the girl a n*****.  Really?  It comes down to this?

Despite the fact that slavery has been abolished and the Civil Rights movement was successful, racism is still rampant.  I cannot lie when I say that whenever I hear about a murder in Chicago, I tend to think of a black man.  I know, it's awful, I'm not racist in the least bit but it's just what tends to come to mind thanks to media, movies, tv shows, etc.  Isn't it time that we start to change these attitudes?  I really don't want my son growing up thinking that Blacks are all criminals; that Asians are math whizzes; or that Hispanics breed like rabbits.  It is my main goal to make sure that not only does he grow up healthy and physically strong but to also be humble and accepting.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Friendly Debates with the Danielles: Kids in the delivery room

Posted by Melinda C at 10:06 PM 1 comments
I never really ever write about anything in particular..usually just whatever pops up in my mind.  I recently came across a post from another blogger about Friendly Debates with the Danielles.  If you read my blog, you should know by know that I'm a super opinionated person so it'll be fun to post my opinion and read other's opinions on certain topics.

Kids in the delivery room?  Yes or no?

Since I've never had kids before, this is a topic I've never really thought of.  When I was younger, I used to think it was disgusting.  Then again, I thought birth in general was disgusting.  However, know that I have a child, I'm all for it depending on the age of the child.  I think it is a great learning experience for young children and I really think that young children would be both proud and excited to be in the delivery room to welcome their younger brother or sister.  However, I really do not believe that a 15 year old boy would want to be in the delivery room with his mother.  For one, I've been 15, they believe birth is gross.  Two, no teenager wants to see his or her mother's genitals.

Even though I am all for it, I don't think I would ever want Leo in the room with me for the actual birth.  I would be fine having him around in the delivery room up until the point where I'm pushing.  When I had Leo, it was an intimate moment for Anthony and I.  Granted we had to have our midwife in the room almost the entire time, it was nice for it to just be Anthony and I and have it be a calm, relaxing least, in the beginning.  My labor was tough so it ended up not being a calming experience after all.

I will say that it would be completely different if there were complications with the birth.  Obviously, kids may get in the way and it may not be the best thing to have them around for that!

Are you for or against kids in the delivery room?  Have you had children present for your own childbirth?

Possible topics: organic food for babies, Is sterilizing baby items really necessary? The development of allergies depends on how the child is raised.

Baby #2

Posted by Melinda C at 6:55 PM 1 comments
I don't get why it's natural for people to constantly ask, "so when are you having baby #2?"  Every time I meet someone they ask if I'm breastfeeding, if he's sleeping through the night, and then when we're trying for another.  It's annoying, especially from my family, they know we don't have the time or money for a second kid right now.

Anthony and I have discussed it many times.  At first, we decided we'd wait around 5 years before trying for number two.  We figured I'd be done with college by then and I'd have a pretty stable job, we'd possibly own our own home.  That would be the ideal situation.  After a few months went by, and some arguments made by family and friends, we decided maybe we'd wait three years before trying for baby #2 (by trying, I mean stopping to not-try..I will never actually try for a baby).  

Today, out of nowhere, Anthony comes up to me and says, "You know, I can see why people want to have another baby."  He said he had a dream that we were getting an ultrasound done and that we were having a baby girl.  He didn't really come out and say it but I think he wants to have another baby soon.  Maybe too soon for me!  I definitely want another baby, I have dreams of it too but I definitely don't want two right now. Maybe after Leo is at least a year old...

True Love

Posted by Melinda C at 6:47 PM 0 comments
There is a girl I work with who's life is pretty similar to mine.  She's just a little older than me; she just recently turned 24 and I'll be 23 this summer.  She cloth diapers.  Her baby is only two months younger than Leo.  And her and her boyfriend are not married, like Anthony and I.  So we have a lot in common...we like working together because it's so nice to talk to someone who is in the same situation you're in.

Anyway, we were working together early Sunday morning.  In the midst of our opening duties she turns and asks me, "So do you love Anthony?"  Of course, my instantaneous reaction was, "Yes, of course."  I do love Anthony, more than anything.  She paused and looked at me and said, "No, I mean, like the same as before you had a kid?"

It got me thinking.  As I said, I do love Anthony, more than anything.  We have our beautiful baby and we're happy together (for the most part..what couple doesn't have fights?)..but it is different now after having a child.  I love him but the fairytale of the relationship isn't there anymore.  We're planning on getting married but I don't get to dream about a surprise proposal or a dream wedding.

I wouldn't trade my life for anything, I'm happy.  But it is different now.

Does anyone else feel the same way or understand where I'm coming from?

Friday, March 23, 2012

The Ex

Posted by Melinda C at 5:24 PM 1 comments
When I was 19, I stupidly dated this guy who was 25 and in the Navy.  He seemed like a good guy, had his own place (which any guy who is 25 should), had his own car, had a job, etc.  He seemed like he was on track.  I probably shouldn't have been dating a guy who was 6 years my senior but I wanted someone mature and it didn't seem like any guys my age were mature (they weren't).

Since he was in the Navy, he lived near the Navy base here in Waukegan.  I live in it was over an hours drive to get to his place.  This was obviously before I had a baby, or even had three dogs, so I used to pack up my one dog, Cheeks, and I'd spend the weekend at his place.  We dated for about 7-8 months and adopted a dog together (my pit, Doc...actually named by said ex!).  I realize now that we were moving way too fast but this is all in hindsight.  Anyway, since I was only allowed to have one dog at my apartment, Doc stayed with him.  Since I stayed at his place so often, I had a ton of clothes there, shampoo, and even my Wii.  He also started to hint that he wanted me to move in and wanted to have a baby.  I did NOT want a baby, I was only 19, still a student...still wanting to live my life, so I said no.

After the 7-8 months we had been dating, things started to change.  He would make excuses for me not to come out for the weekend, ignore my calls, forget to call me back, etc.  He said some girl from work was staying with him while she got back on her feet but I had never had a chance to meet this girl so I was suspicious.  After about a month of this crap, I finally decided to make a trip up to his apartment to just take back my dog and all my stuff since we were obviously breaking up.  He had given me a set of keys to his place about 2 months prior to this.  When I got there, he wasn't home because he was out of town (visiting his other girlfriends family!).  To make a long story short, I found out he was cheating on me and got really angry and texted him.  He called the cops and had me arrested for breaking and entering, claiming that I had stolen the keys to his apartment and let myself in even though we had been broken up for months.

I was released that night as no formal charges were taken.  He called me two weeks later begging for me to go back with him, of course,  I said no but he would continue to text me periodically and call every now and then to see how I was doing.  Come to find out that his other girlfriend is pregnant.  Looking back, there is no way she got pregnant after this guy and I officially stopped dating.  The whole "arrest" happened in February, she had to have gotten pregnant in December.  We never talked after that!

Fast forward about 6 months, I got a ticket for an improper turn on red. I went to the courthouse to pay my ticket and I'm arrested, fingerprints taken, photos taken, and my bond is set to $500 bucks!  The arresting officer only said that the warrant was from Waukegan but couldn't tell me what the arrest was for.  Luckily my parents were with me and posted bail and I headed to a court date in Waukegan thinking it was for a ticket I had gotten over a year prior.

At my trial, I am called up to the bench (all prepared to show my evidence that my ticket was paid, etc) and the Judge says, "You're being charged with breaking and entering and destruction of private property."  WTF?!?!  This was from that same ex who had called the cops on me with his BS story.  After 7 court dates later, I got it taken off my record but I still had to pay a $200 restitution fee and, of course, had to pay my attorney for all 7 of those dates.  I believe it cost me a total of two grand (Yes, TWO GRAND for that idiot) to get it all cleared up!

Obviously, I moved on with my life.  I haven't talked to him since the day I found out his other girlfriend was pregnant (which was long before I got "arrested" at the courthouse).  I've forgotten about him, aside from the fact that I hate his guts and I may just have to punch him in the face if I ever see him.  But what do I see when I check my email this morning?  He's following me on Twitter!!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

A Giveaway Tip

Posted by Melinda C at 1:06 AM 0 comments
In the history of my little blog here, I've only done two giveaways.  By now, I was hoping to have done more but I'm not really sure of how to get my foot in the door (If you have tips, please share!!! =) )  Despite that, I have entered in a TON of giveaways and I've been lucky enough to win quite a few items.  Usually, once I send my address in, I get my items within the week.  I even got Fuzzibunz diapers the next day..I don't know how that was possible!!

However, there are still some items that I won and never received.  For example, there are two items in particular, a bottle and a dog leash, that I've been waiting for for over three months!!  I emailed both blog owners a couple of times in the time period and both said they'd fix it but, still, no items.  It doesn't really bother me that much since I don't really need the items so much anymore.  The bottle was a 4 ounce bottle and Leo pretty much eats nothing less than 6 ounces at a time and the dog leash seemed like it may have been too small/weak for using on my beastly animals...but I could have given them both as gifts to friends. What really bothers me about it is that the retailer/company agreed to do a giveaway and the item should be sent out.  If you don't want to giveaway an item, then why agree to do a giveaway in the first place?  I'm not really sure whether or not the blog is to blame (I don't think it is but who knows) or if it's the company's fault!

Another issue is that the item should be as described.  If I enter a giveaway for one brand of diaper, I don't want to receive a different brand.  If it's a custom item, I should be able to actually customize it.  I've personally had experience with a giveaway where the item was not made to order and then the retailer claimed that the winner should pay return shipping since "she received the item for free anyway."  I don't view that as proper business practices and I don't think it sheds good light on you as a person.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Right vs. Wrong Ways of Parenting

Posted by Melinda C at 12:41 PM 1 comments
I recently went to a local store here in Chicago.  I won't mention the store because it's not really that big of an issue as to what store it was.  Anyway, this store sells baby carriers, cloth diapers, nursing wear, etc; it's the ultimate store for a mama who would generally consider herself a "green, natural parenting" type of mama, i.e. me, for the most part.  I was talking to one of the sales clerks and she mentioned something about co-sleeping, when I mentioned that I do not co-sleep, she gave me this, "Oh....well...".  You know, with that annoying tone that says the person is judging you.  I. Hate. That. Tone.  It is for people who think they're better than everyone else but they're really not. 

In almost every way, I am a natural parenting mom.  I babywear, I use cloth diapers, I am all for natural remedies and I do what I can when it comes to natural fibers and natural toys, etc.  I just don't co-sleep.  If I were to do it, neither Leo nor I would get any sleep what-so-ever.  He refuses to fall asleep next to us and if I even try to get into bed after he's fallen asleep, he wakes up and cries.  It's ridiculous.  He likes his crib, he falls asleep almost instantaneously, everyone gets sleep...everyone is happy!

I don't get why there is this necessity to put a label on what kind of parent you are.  I also don't get why people have to call out others saying there is some sort of wrong way to parent.  I won't go out of the way and say that there is no wrong way to parent because there are plenty of wrong ways to parent but I wouldn't say that there is only one right way.  Just because I don't co-sleep and let my kid cry a little does not mean that I am, in any way, a bad parent.  I am an awesome mom and I know it.  I know Leo knows he is loved and I know he loves me back, isn't that all that matters? 

Sunday, March 11, 2012

I'm back!

Posted by Melinda C at 1:28 PM 0 comments
I haven't written in so long.  I've been so busy with school and work that I just haven't had time.  Then a family member passed away and spring break came along.  Now I finally have a (semi) clean house and the weather is starting to warm up!

Obviously, I never finished my photo-a-day challenges.  Maybe I'll try again sometime...this summer..when I have time!

More posts to come when I actually have something to write about.
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